You are not lost.

A very good way of looking at things. So many people are trying to "find themselves," when what's really in play is that they don't want to face who they are now. We are not lost; we are simply afraid to acknowledge the reality of who we are at this moment, and do what's necessary to change behaviors, perspectives, situations, etc to what they need to be.

Getting out of your comfort zone, especially as we get older and comfortable with believing and behaving in certain ways, is really hard. We feel safe and secure; why rock the boat? But life is a continuous journey, without a roadmap. We move forward, or get tripped up or mired down, based on how well we have absorbed the lessons from our experiences, and our relationships with other people.

I've been doing quite a bit of self-examination over the past year, with dreamwork, etc, as my body has transitioned into the Crone phase. There are changes going on in my life, false perceptions being tossed aside, self-created obstacles removed. The journey ahead, without those in the way, is very promising.

The Divine is within all things; to know yourself as part of that whole is to be connected to nature and the Divine. You are not lost or separate from nature; you ARE nature, and through that, the Divine.
______________________________

Paganism and Social Awkwardness

Here’s my take on why the Pagan community seems to attract socially awkward people.

There’s an “unconditional love and tolerance for all” ideal in the Pagan community at large. Our internal culture welcomes those who have been rejected by more mainstream groups. Sometimes this bites us in the butt, as people are unwilling to point out inappropriate behavior in a polite, direct manner one-on-one, early on. We tend to forget that a good percentage of newbies are coming in with some serious baggage, and we don’t allow for that transitional phase where they’re going to potentially make some big social blunders. It’s a learning curve that can be done in a positive way, yet still firmly with no wiggle room. Also, individuals can have some wildly different social boundaries of what they will tolerate or not. A newbie needs guidance on how to navigate the waters of an internal social structure that really doesn’t have a common set of boundaries.

Pagans are also notoriously more open about relationship structures; for someone coming in blind, from our generally conservative mainstream with more defined relationship rules, we’re a minefield. I believe we all should be firm as to our own personal boundaries up front, so a new person doesn’t get in a fix with all the mixed signals.

I believe that newbies entering ANY new social structure, especially religious or spiritually related, are coming into it with the idea that they want to fit in but have no idea what they’re dealing with yet. They’re going to be very self-conscious, self-judgmental, etc. Being hypersensitive about not wanting to misstep often leads to exactly that. Those of us with children understand this even more; any kid who knows they are in a situation where they need to “be on their best behavior” inevitably ends up at some point dropping/breaking something, or otherwise creating for themselves a socially embarrassing incident. It’s up to us, in the role of those comfortable with the environment, to gently but firmly help others overcome and do better while not treading on their dignity or self-respect.

This doesn’t mean that the “unconditional love and tolerance for all” is in play; if someone is truly a jerk or an actual danger to the community, it should be addressed. But it needs to be done in a way that does not end up ostracizing a good person based on personal bias. You are NOT required to like or accept everyone, even if they are in the same social community; just be astute about how you handle it.

9/11 - Why I Remember

There's been a run of 9/11 material on my FB timeline today. I don't know if any more will be posted, but today is my day to mourn. September 11, 2001 was my Kennedy assassination-level punch to the gut. Time has softened the blow, but don't tell me to "get over it." You simply adjust to the new reality; the world you knew before, and the impact of after.

As a parent, knowing my older daughter was starting her freshman year on the same campus as the Bush daughters, which potentially put her in danger, was frighteningly real and scary. My younger daughter was 5, not understanding why her parents were just sitting and crying in front of the TV that evening and for days afterwards. Even I was startled at the intensity of my own reaction. But then, nothing like this had ever happened in my life thus far that was so very, very life-altering on a national scale.

Today is not about politics, or conspiracies, or anything else. It's about something that was intensely personal; and at least for a time, about the shining moments of people helping each other, reaching out and connecting to others that they would not normally have done. It was about the American spirit rising up, the hidden soul of the country, that I have always had faith was there even amongst the conflict and turmoil of a (historically speaking) still-evolving new nation.

Sure, in time we all went back to our internal bickering, as dysfunctional families do. And the temporary swell of patriotic fervor was used to justify a vile act that will have long-term repercussions. But that is not what today is about.

I choose to remember, today, that moment in time when we all stood as one people, sharing a universal communal grief. As Joseph Campbell so eloquently stated, “Here was an enormous nation, made those four days into a unanimous community, all of us participating in the same way, simultaneously, in a single symbolic event…..It was the first and only thing of its kind in peacetime that has ever given me the sense of being a member of this whole national community, engaged as a unit in the observance of a deeply significant rite."

Goddess bless those who crossed the Veil that day; and those who survived and carried the experience with them. Goddess bless the responders who risked their lives, and who died in service to their community. Goddess bless those left behind; families and friends and a deeply grieving nation.

In their honor, remember what it felt like to put aside race, religion, and everything else that usually tends to divide us from each other. And then, do your best to keep that flame going wherever you are able. Sometimes we’ll succeed, sometimes we’ll falter. And that’s OK, as long as we pick ourselves up and keep going, keep trying. And ‪#‎NeverForget‬.

Spiritual complacency

I have learned, in asking questions about the how/why of what they believe and practice, new approaches to "traditional" ways, and how some things have evolved and changed over time. It helps keep me grounded in NOT getting complacent with my own practices and beliefs. Otherwise, you risk becoming spiritually stagnant.

Tumblr newbie

OK, because I'm nosy and it's very popular, I have set up a Tumblr. Can any of you Tumblr experts advise a novice on what it's best used for?

http://seshenwolfsong.tumblr.com/

Pagan conversations on sexual predators

This brainwashing of how women should respond to sexual predators is rampant in our society as a whole, not just Pagan events. We need to create some new social habits and a more open culture, and toss out the attitude of "Thou shalt not question or accuse a Grand Poobah or Poobahess. You are not worthy."

The only thing a Pagan title (Degree, clergy status, famous person etc) conveys is that you're very persistent and focused in getting where you want to be. That can be a very good and admirable quality, but it can also be used as a license to manipulate. We need to be aware of this, and support those who speak out against those who choose door #2.

Paganism Loses Its Innocence

Predators, Sacred Space & a Call to Maturity

The Missing Stair

Silence Equals Death - Making Pagan Groups Safe For Everyone

Spiritual highs/lows

A primary part of spirituality that many people don't allow themselves is, true spirituality is NOT a level playing field. You are going to have highs and lows; times when you're completely involved, and times when you need to be a hermit. Both are essential to one's spiritual sanity.  If you're feeling low, you're NOT "losing your religion" or losing touch with your spiritual self; you're just going through the normal cycles of actively participating in life.

Newbies and "social awkwardness"

I recently came across a question about why the Pagan community seems to attract socially awkward people. Here’s my take on this.

There’s an “unconditional love and tolerance for all” ideal in the Pagan community at large. Our internal culture welcomes those who have been rejected by more mainstream groups. Sometimes this bites us in the butt, as people are unwilling to point out inappropriate behavior in a polite, direct manner one-on-one, early on. We tend to forget that a good percentage of newbies are coming in with some serious baggage, and we don’t allow for that transitional phase where they’re going to potentially make some big social blunders. It’s a learning curve that can be done in a positive way, yet still firmly with no wiggle room. Also, individuals can have some wildly different social boundaries of what they will tolerate or not. A newbie needs guidance on how to navigate the waters of an internal social structure that really doesn’t have a common set of boundaries.

Pagans are also notoriously more open about relationship structures; for someone coming in blind, from our generally conservative mainstream with more defined relationship rules, we’re a minefield. I believe we all should be firm as to our own personal boundaries up front, so a new person doesn’t get in a fix with all the mixed signals.

I believe that newbies entering ANY new social structure, especially religious or spiritually related, are coming into it with the idea that they want to fit in but have no idea what they’re dealing with yet. They’re going to be very self-conscious, self-judgmental, etc. Being hypersensitive about not wanting to misstep often leads to exactly that. Those of us with children understand this even more; any kid who knows they are in a situation where they need to “be on their best behavior” inevitably ends up at some point dropping/breaking something, or otherwise creating for themselves a socially embarrassing incident. It’s up to us, in the role of those comfortable with the environment, to gently but firmly help others overcome and do better while not treading on their dignity or self-respect.

This doesn’t mean that the “unconditional love and tolerance for all” is in play; if someone is truly a jerk or an actual danger to the community, it should be addressed. But it needs to be done in a way that does not end up ostracizing a good person based on personal bias. You are NOT required to like or accept everyone, even if they are in the same social community; just be astute about how you handle it.